No Regret (My First College Essay)

Regret comes in many shapes and sizes. I can cite a ton of small examples which induce this slightly guilty feeling on a daily basis. Consider the following mundane examples: I regret not getting up 10 minutes earlier this morning (only because it made me late). I regret forgetting to set the DVR (missed a season premiere). I regret eating two scoops of Breyer’s Hershey Bar with Almonds ice cream. Okay, it was four scoops but I am only sorry about the extra two (no need to detail the effects of too much ice cream).

Thankfully, there are very few big things I regret. Looking back, I see situations I’d have handled differently. There’s a list of conversations I’d like to ‘do-over’, purchases I wish I hadn’t made, and friends with whom I would still like to be in contact. The flip side to these regret-filled memories is the life lessons they have kindly and sometimes forcefully bestowed. Was each scenario a life-altering event? Not by a long shot. Sometimes it’s the simple lesson that even if the generic brand of Pop-Tarts is cheaper, it’s not a smart buy if no one eats them. So I regret purchasing food which will ultimately get thrown in the trash but I no longer wonder if we could save a bunch of money by switching the brand of our morning meal.

I married the love of my life when I was only 18. Fast forward 16 years and four kids, we’re still happily married. I do not regret marrying young (not an endorsement for teen marriage). I do not regret having children when I was only a young whippersnapper myself (again not an endorsement). I have no regrets I chose to invest my time and energy in what mattered most to me—my family.

I thought I would graduate high school, get married, and start college. We discovered the expenses of living ‘on our own’ so full time employment became a necessity. I thought I’d take night classes and eventually pursue my goal of being a teacher. Instead we signed a mortgage, built a house, and had a family. So my half-heartedly laid plans went awry. I still became a full-time student, but kids and budgets and laundry and cooking were my professors and home was my classroom. Did I mention I have no regrets? Although I really can’t say I thrived off of the diapers and dishwashing, I do not regret one minute spent with my kids.

I’ve been asked about my decision to return to college at the tender age of 34. What I’m asked most often is why now? The easiest answer is my youngest child started Kindergarten this fall. My job description underwent a complete transformation and I didn’t like it. Instead of enjoying days at home with a bubbly five-year-old, I now only had the t.v. and computer to keep me company. So with these changes the old dream of being a teacher, which I thought had retired long ago, began to creep back into my thoughts. And along with those thoughts, probably the best lesson I’ve ever learned about regret came slinking in as well.

I have never regretted trying.